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1.
Inside looking out again Into this view I've seen a thousand times before All these foggy fingerprints The raindrops turn to lines Watching the world go by as I hide my life away I can't seem to shut it out all those times I say "I'm not okay" Because I am fine I am fine And when the morning comes I'll be here wasting time I am fine I am fine I'll be fine But as for now I'm still sitting here Behind this pane of glass What would I become or What will come to pass? What's the worst that could happen if I walked out that door? This is just me fighting My own personal war But I will be okay I will be okay I'll wear this fake smile again And it will say That I am fine I am fine And when the morning comes I'll be here wasting time I am fine I am fine I'll be fine I'll be fine I'll be fine....
2.
See The Way 02:05
3.
Hexus Pt 1 05:13
4.
Yesterday 03:54
Standing alone both my eyes closed making a wish a wish that i will never tell standing alone wondering and dreaming of a better time making a wish the same wish i’ve made many times before until now until yesterday until yesterday standing alone wondering and dreaming of a better time making a wish the same wish i’ve made many times before until now until yesterday until yesterday
5.
i can't sleep again... oh well.. i should be used to it by now. my mind is running away from me again.. :-( why do i always try so hard? (it's pointless anyway) .. i don't realize the sun is coming up... and shining on my face. ! why do i even try at all? ..with all this damn sun in my face. >:-/ when do i get a break? WHEN do i? oh how i need to sleep... i do.. but all i do is think of you..... i don't realize you have always been with me (if i would just open my eyes!!) But i need to sleep!.. i need to sleep... i DO. ....if i would just open my eyes..... i need to sleep... i do.... ....but all i do is think of you..... .........
6.
you know... i am not one of you, and i haven't ever been. you know, i am not worthy of the things you seem to think i should. you know, i can do this all by myself. i don't need the sanctity of friends. i can see that this is getting nowhere.... it'll be tomorrow that i'll make amends. maybe things will get better.. maybe i'll get better..... you... you know..... you know.... You... know.... when will i be comfortable around you and everyone i meet? why do i think that i can change?? let's face it.. i won't be okay. maybe things will get better.. maybe i'll get better........... someday maybe i'll get better.
7.
Every now and then I feel stranger than I was before Every now and then I feel darker than I should be because I'm better... aren't I? Every now and then I feel farther from the answer of what I don't even know what I'm seeking Every now and then I feel smaller than anyone in the world. Please let me lie here Please let me lie here with These broken wings For now I am fine I am happy In my room My familiar place It is empty I can hide Now that I'm alone I can breathe I can sigh Escaping with my thoughts I am free I am high So now, please I'll just lie here Please let me lie here with These broken wings Oh now, please I'll just lie here Please let me lie here with These broken wings
8.
Forgive You 06:10
Help me I can't seem to find A way to change this superficial life Help me I can't find a way A way to make these feelings go away Help me I can't seem to find Myself inside this silly pantomime I try hard every single day To push through and somehow find my way But I understand why I feel this way Help me I can't seem to say The things I need to say To make things right I don't feel strong enough today I don't feel strong enough To stand up and fight But I need to do it anyway Because if I don't I'll always be this way But I understand why I feel this way I need to learn to forgive you And then I'll be free
9.
Your Eyes 08:11
Feeling this way For the first time in my life Being with you Gives me something to look forward to I never thought That I could be the one for you I never thought That I could be good enough for you I hope I make you happy I hope I make you proud I don't know what I'd do If I ever lost you I'd wander the Earth alone Thinking of you Seeing your face in everything around me Wishing I could get lost in your eyes again And again and again and again... I'll do my best To not disappoint you I'll do my best To not let you down I will keep you smiling I will keep you safe Please don't give up on me When I falter I'll be here always for you Wishing I could get lost in your eyes again And again and again and again....
10.
Behind every face there is a shadow Inside every heart there is a hole Underneath each act there is a motive Between every friend there is a foe Inside every thought there is a devil Behind every heart there is no soul Look into my eyes and you will notice A gaze that is so lonely and so cold Maybe I will see Maybe I will see One day Behind every smile there is anger Inside every song an animal Underneath each praise are expectations To live a certain way or else be dull Inside every heart there is darkness Behind every word a chemical Help me see that all of this is not real And that the world is not so painful Maybe I will see Maybe I will see Maybe I will see Maybe I will see One day...
11.
12.
In My Room 05:55
I avoid the sun And I avoid the moon I can't be myself around you I avoid the sun And I avoid the moon I can't be myself around you Why is it that I only find peace in my mind? I don't understand why I can't be me all of the time I wonder why you all are unsafe in my mind Now I only hide In My Room where I am fine I am alive In My Room I avoid the sun And I avoid the moon I can't be myself around you I avoid the sun And I avoid the moon I can't be myself around you Every single time I try I am beat down from the lies The only ones I trust I can't see but not 'cause I'm blind My familiar friends are here with me safe in my room It will take a lot for you to be here beside me too I am alive In My Room I am alive In My Room I avoid the sun And I avoid the moon I can't be myself around you
13.
Wait until I wake up for the news Tell me why I don't have to worry Wait until I wipe the sleep from my eyes Lay it on me, why are you so happy? Oh, this kind of news I've been waiting for you to say Now I can sleep Excuse me while I finally rest my mind Because now it's time
14.
Max 04:16
I often think about the time when you will leave me I dread the day it comes, but it will You make me see the good in this world With you by my side I'll win every fight I will protect you I will keep you safe You are my best friend You are my boy Do you remember when we traveled 'cross the country? The friends we made, the sights we saw You were there for me even when things were low And when things were good, we enjoyed them together I will be here for you I will never let you down You are my best friend You are my son You are my boy Everyone that meets you falls instantly in love with you Your face, your eyes, your smile The way that you won't leave without your favorite toy It makes my heart whole and filled with joy I will protect you I will keep you safe You are my best friend You are my son You are my best friend I love you my boy
15.
Poppy 05:25
Maybe you never met her Maybe you never saw the things that I did If you did though you were one of the lucky ones You would have left her smiling and happy She would have touched your soul in some way You would have left her feeling whole Thank you for everything Poppy Thank you for being you Hearing the news that I could lose you Made my heart grow a hole I won't accept it that I might lose you We'll be together growing old Thank you for everything Poppy Thank you for being you Thank you for everything Poppy Thank you for being you....
16.
I thought I did everything right I did the things I thought I should Oh, was it right? Oh, was it wise? I did all the steps I thought were best Was it good enough? I thought it was I thought I could Making promises to myself I will not lay down I will not give up I won't go into the ground My place is here to stay And I deserve it all What would I become If I gave into the fall? I thought I did everything right I did the things I thought I should Oh, was it right? Oh, was it wise? I did all the steps I thought were best Was it good enough? I thought it was I thought I could
17.
I know something is not right It's been out of place most my life Puzzle pieces scattered on the floor It's taken so long just to feel alive Hiding in the shadows of my mind It's been waiting there for years But now I'm no longer blind I see the reason for the tears Now I've learned how to smile Now I know that I am still alive...
18.
Silence 06:13
I take a breath in Close my eyes And I exhale My thoughts are frozen in my mind And I finally feel nothing And my soul is still Slowly as my eyes come open I find myself looking onward Dust settling back down A plume of smoke rises upward And the city is finally still Everywhere I look is dust and Everywhere I turn is rust I finally see what I was looking for The city that was filled with lust The greed the hate fueled my disgust I finally found what I was looking for I take a breath in Close my eyes And I exhale My thoughts are frozen in my mind And I finally feel nothing And my soul is still I strain to hear But my heart inside my chest Is all I manage to hear It's about time It's about time Everywhere I look is dust and Everywhere I turn is rust I finally see what I was looking for The City that was filled with lust The greed the hate fueled my disgust I finally found what I was looking for Everywhere I look is dust and Everywhere I turn is rust I finally see what I was looking for The city that was filled with lust The greed the hate fueled my disgust I finally found what I was looking for
19.
Brown and black With his book on his lap Peaceful stare With his arms on his chair "What are you gonna do with your life?" he says "What are you gonna do with yourself?" Maybe he will help me see Answer the question that has puzzled me Old man, what do you see in me? Pay attention to the changes in me I am smarter I am stronger I am better than I was before I am stronger than I was before I don't care what you think anymore I am smarter I am stronger I am better than I was before I am smarter I am stronger I am better than I was before
20.
Growing up I was so very very lost I was lost and it made me hide away I was so sad I lived in the dark Nothing you'd say could make me find my way Growing up I was so very very lost All I wanted to do was to sleep the day away But now I see Now I can be me I've been trying to find what to do with my life I've been trying to see what would be good for me I told myself I'd be lost forever I convinced myself it would be safer that way But I finally found a good purpose in life I finally see Oh this grand epiphany But now I see Now I can be me This is it I finally found it
21.
Hexus Pt 2 05:44
Hello my friend I see you again I welcome you home I mean you no harm I see you there Come here to my arms
22.
My Heart 06:00
Wait until I fall asleep with you Until I am dreaming next to you Waterfalls are flowing through my heart And you lie awake and stare to the moon What will be left of this when the morning comes? You’ll be ready to sleep and I will start to sing Why did I wait so long To show you my heart and let you know you belong? I know I’ve done this before But this time I’ll show you that I won’t anymore How did I live like that for so long? I told myself it was right, but I was wrong I know now that my thoughts were misconstrued I know now that my heart should be for you Why did I wait so long To show you my heart and let you know you belong? I know I’ve done this before But this time I’ll show you that I won’t anymore Why did I wait so long To show you my heart and let you know you belong? I’ve made mistakes and I’ve ran away from my heart But all of this led me to you And now I am strong

about

Collection of all my original songs with vocals.

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released July 16, 2020

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about

The Anthropophobia Project Vancouver, Washington

I use music as my diary. I’m not terribly good with words, so I use melody to express myself. I use sound as a therapeutic outlet for emotions and feelings. Even though there are few lyrics, I wear my feelings on my sleeve. It’s the only place I’m able to open up completely. I was apprehensive releasing such personal songs, but the act of letting go is part of the therapeutic process. ... more

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